Attorney Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: “5 Things You Need to Know to Survive and Thrive During and After A Divorce”
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf has been tapped to head-up the new French Chapter for The National Association for Divorce Professionals.
Remember, you did not get married in three days and therefore you cannot separate in three days. Sometimes it is necessary to take time to make life-long decisions so they are right for your family.
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It doesn’t matter where you were born, what language you speak or where you currently reside. Divorce effects everyone and it can happen anywhere. According to The World Population Review, Russia has the highest divorce rate in the world. Divorce Magazine says, more than 38% of marriages will end in divorce in France and here in the United States, the National Center for Health Statistics, which gathered information from 45-states plus Washington, D.C. reported there are 2.9 divorces per 1,000 population. Sadly, divorce is a global issue and one, that will never disappear. Nathalie Sennegon Nataf is a lawyer specializing in personal and family law at the Versailles and Paris Bar. Since 2015, Nataf has divided her time between France and the USA. Nataf is active with The National Association of Divorce Professionals (NADP) and provides support to families in Florida who are fluent in French and going through a divorce. Most recently, Nataf started a French Chapter of the NADP to assist professionals who have a case that involves a language barrier.
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Ilyssa Panitz: You were a Divorce Attorney in France. How long did you practice law there?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: I practiced as an attorney in France 25-years, at the Versailles Bar, then at the Paris Bar where i was appointed as an honorary Lawyer after a 25-year career. I specialized in family law and I also became a Mediator and have been a member of the Children’s Lawyers Group too.
Ilyssa Panitz: When did you move to The United States?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: I moved to the United States almost six-years ago.
Ilyssa Panitz: You developed and are leading a new French chapter for The National Association of Divorce Professionals for French speaking ex-pats. Tell me all about this new area of the organization.
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: We launched the first National Association of Divorce Professionals National French Chapter in January 2021. I am proud to represent them for francophone (French speaking people) professionals living in the United States. This fantastic association brings together highly qualified experts who, in their professional life, can assist and support people who speak French as their first language and are going through the difficult period of separation or divorce. When someone comes to the United States and does not speak the language or understand the culture or the legal system and processes of the United States court system, it makes it very difficult on the family.
Ilyssa Panitz: Is there anything like this back in France?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: I wish there were an association like the National Association of Divorce Professionals, in France. When I got to know NADP, I realized that this organization pursued the exact same goals as myself and promoted the way of working that I always applied in my professional life. This association was located in the US where I am living now and that is what prompted me to get involved. I have devoted my entire professional life to helping families who were going through separation, family/parental difficulties before, during or after a divorce or separation. Every time, and with every case, I saw first-hand how families have various types of needs.
Ilyssa Panitz: What comes to mind when you think back to your time as a divorce lawyer?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: I have always been aware that when people are in my office for a consultation related to a family drama, a break-up or a divorce, I was only informing them about the law and their rights. What I was lacking, was the capacity to support them psychologically, guide them financially and give them enough energy to organize things in their daily life. My goal was to help them by explaining things as serenely as possible to their children and to their families.
Ilyssa Panitz: How do you define divorce?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: A divorce is a concrete event. It forces you to face a wall of loneliness with enormous responsibilities. Moreover, separation can also uncover personal family conflicts and force you to look back at your history. It also burdens you with the task of making crucial decisions fairly quickly. A couple is made of two people who act together who are constantly faced with various responsibilities. Then when they suddenly separate, they find themselves alone and disconnected and face the same duties that until recently they dealt with together.
Ilyssa Panitz: What motivated you to re-focus what you were doing and start this branch?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Vicky Townsend and Liz Becker, are the extraordinary founders of NADP have it all figured out! They have been through the divorce process, experienced this moment of loneliness and the immense need for help. This is how the association was born! It originated from their journey and the concrete needs they sensed. This organization closely matched my vision in my professional life. I always collaborated with pediatricians, coaches, psychologists, psychoanalysts, and child psychiatrists. However, my approach was not mainstream in France. As a result, I decided to be a member of NADP to share my experience as a French personal Consultant, honorary attorney, and mediator and I took their Certified Divorce Specialist training program to get more skilled.
Ilyssa Panitz: How do you define your role?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: It is important for French people or anyone who speaks another language living in the US to find professionals who speak their native language and who understands the culture of their country of origin and who will understand the needs of families going through a divorce or separation. There are a lot of matters that have to be settled for people who are separating, so understanding everything is crucial. That is why having someone in your corner that not only speaks your language, but also understands where you come from culturally is important. Ex-pats living in the US are far from family, friends, and people who could support them at a time of crisis. Finding qualified French divorce professionals is reassuring for my clients. Since I am French, my goal in this National French Chapter is to unite these qualified professionals with French people living in the US. There should be something like this for all ex-pats and we are working on that!
Ilyssa Panitz: How do you prepare to work with people here in the states?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: When I received my CDS (Certified Divorce Specialist) certification I felt a strong desire to be more active in this organization. I was aware of the large number of French and French-speaking professionals living and working in the USA and so I offered to create a French Chapter! I am truly honored that Vicky and Liz appreciated my experience and entrusted me with the expansion, the directory and management of their National French Chapter. This is a wonderful challenge for me!
Ilyssa Panitz: Why is there a need for a Chapter for this particular demographic?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: French the fourth most-spoken language in the nation behind English, Spanish, and Chinese. There are 1.32 million people who speak French at home as of 2010 census. With the National French Chapter French-speaking professionals will be able to connect, collaborate, and refer each other.
Ilyssa Panitz: What is your long-term goal?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Since we live far away from our home country, in the event of a health, family, professional or economical issue, it is always more convenient to speak in our native language. Even though most who live in the US eventually learn to speak the English language, professionals understand that their clients will be more comfortable speaking French when they are facing difficult circumstances such as a divorce. Cultural references and customs linked to the native country can resonate harder at certain times and in the face of painful life events. By bringing these talented French-speaking professionals together will not only create synergy between people from diverse horizons; it will also allow members to interact and benefit from each other’s experience.
Ilyssa Panitz: How will you channel the work you were doing in France to this new role?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: In my professional life back in France, I had numerous chances to participate to seminars organized by physicians, psychiatrists and therapists on topics related to difficult personalities. For example, I learned valuable information from these healthcare professionals on mental health and living with a toxic person. This helped me tremendously, including high conflict divorce cases I was hired to get involved. When I contacted medical professionals such as pediatricians, I also learned a lot about a child’s feelings. This helped me perfect my approach and professional practice. This is exactly what NADP promotes. It brings together professionals from divorce various professions. When they gather and exchange information, they create a rich work environment. The NADP offers crucial benefits for all professionals who deal with clients or individuals who are facing divorce.
Ilyssa Panitz: What do you provide people going through a divorce that no one else does?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Today, as an honorary lawyer and a Family Mediator, I offer guidance, advice, and consultation solution to French-speaking people who live in the United States and are facing divorce. I can assure you that every time I suggest to these individuals that we could contact another professional within NADP, they feel reassured, confident, and secure with my suggestions because in a crisis you want to feel comfortable with someone who understands you.
Ilyssa Panitz: Every divorce is going to be different because every situation is not the same. However, I am wondering if you ever see some commonalities and if so, what are they?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: What I find interesting about family conflicts is that no matter where you come from in society, no matter your level of wealth or fame, family conflicts effect everyone. Of course, not all divorce situations are alike, and the problems encountered are different, but often, on an emotional level, in terms of affect, on a purely family level, everyone experiences the same fears and are worried about the same things. Moreover, my personal vision has always been to serve the best interests of the child, and I have always taken a lot of time with the people I accompany on this journey to make sure that the suffering of the children is a priority.
Ilyssa Panitz: During a divorce process, a client will be presented with numerous documents that outline everything from child custody, division of marital property, settlement of debts, liens and division of money, and determination of support.
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: That is why we have translators, CPAs, tax and financial advisors, family law attorneys, business/tax attorneys and mental health counselors who speak French and that are available for French families. We also have lawyers that specialize in immigration law, Mediators, life coaches, real estate agents, psychologists…the list goes on and on.
Ilyssa Panitz: How can we help French speaking clients understand and make sense of all these binding agreements?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: All these professionals, who are linked together by the French language, strive to guide their clients in the best interest of both cultures.
Ilyssa Panitz: In addition to the language barrier, what do French-speaking clients face when they going through a divorce in the United States?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Many of them are people who left France to follow their spouse for professional reasons. When the separation occurs, the issue of the children is huge because often one of the spouses may consider returning to France. Of course, understanding the documents they are signing is also an issue. With French speaking professionals at their side, they can be assured of what they are agreeing to and signing. We have not focused on the cultural, language, and system differences that ex-pats face when they live in the United States. For my clients, I have resources for my French speaking clients at my fingertips.
Ilyssa Panitz: Are there many French-speaking lawyers who can help them or do you work with these lawyers to better serve their clients?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Yes, there are many French speaking lawyers in the US. With my professional experience as a French Lawyer and Mediator, I like to work with my clients in advance to identify the difficulties so I can help them to settle amicably before sending them to a lawyer here in the US, or in France. America is a melting pot. I do not think there has been enough attention put to people that are here from all around the world and do not understand the processes in the United States court systems. Divorce is different in almost every country and it is not always easy for the ex-pats to comprehend it all. We are creating the French Chapter now, but more languages will follow because this is simply too important of an issue.
Ilyssa Panitz: How do you help people prepare for the “best possible” outcome for their situation?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: Today, I do family mediation, parental coaching and help people manage their co-parenting, before, during and after a divorce. The fact that I have dealt with conflicts in front of judges for 25-years allows me to prepare people who are separating for the legal battle if it is unavoidable. The most important thing for me is that people feel better after this ordeal is completed. What I have often seen in my professional life, people rush into the conflict without being fully prepared. They are frustrated because this is their life, but in the office of their lawyer or in front of a judge they are unfortunately only one of many cases that come through the door. I decided to accompany them before and after their court case as an added form of support. This allows me to see everything that hopefully can be settled amicably when it is possible. I also help people not to rush into a divorce but rather take their time to think about each important matter before any procedure. It is a fact that once the law takes over your case, everything is possible, and you are no longer making decisions that concern your family.
Ilyssa Panitz: Why do couples from France file for divorce here in the states?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: There are many French people living in the United States. French people experience divorce at the same rate as Americans, nearly one in every two marriages. Much of the time, French Ex-pats who decide to divorce in the United States live and have children, sometime born in US. Many people who emigrated from France to the United States came for work, fell in love, and start a family.
Ilyssa Panitz: Are they at a disadvantage because they are not from here?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: The law is the law for everyone. Most of the time the main concern for a lot of people is when they are faced with make decisions for their living arrangements. Sometimes that may include splitting the family up because they have to go back to their home country due to immigration difficulties that the divorce can create. Sometimes there are difficult decisions to be made regarding the children. This is obviously the hardest part of the separation. When one of the two parents finds themselves obliged to return to France because of the divorce they suddenly find themselves far away from the children.
Ilyssa Panitz: What are 5 things someone needs to know to survive and thrive during and after a divorce?
Nathalie Sennegon-Nataf: One: Remember, you did not get married in three days and therefore you cannot separate in three days. Sometimes it is necessary to take time to make life-long decisions so they are right for your family.
Two: Don’t think that everything that happened to me as a partner, in my relationship, will necessarily happen to my children. Let’s not forget, children do not plan to live their parents their whole lives. Their destiny is not necessarily yours.
Three: Take the time to surround yourself with the right people. This is the perfect time for you to renew the friendships and family ties you lost along the way.
Four: Take care of yourself. We cannot say it enough. Try working out again. Start a diet or change your hairstyle! This will help you regain the self-confidence and self-esteem!
Five: When you have children, do everything to stay their parents. Your love story may have ended but not the love you have for your kids. The children will not be damaged by their parent’s divorce if mom/dad remain together as a team for the sole benefit of their children.